Friday, August 30, 2013

While Waiting For Forgiveness

  For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,  in whom we       have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.          Colossians 1: 13-14

For the last two months,  I have avidly checked my email inbox as well as my facebook messages  over and over throughout my days with a deep feeling of disappointment quite often when I leave the screen again.   I enjoy reading about what my friends are up to, about their children or pets, or seeing pics of what they ate for dinner.   I enjoy reading the blog posts from some of my favorite writers in the blogging world.   I find spiritual encouragement and inspiration in those posts and also tips for being a better mom and teacher to my two children still living at home.   I appreciate those tips and helps and inspiration so very much.   They truly, at times, are a balm to my spirit and just the encouragement I need as I continue my trek through this life and through home education with two teenage boys. 

But my spirit still longs for that one special message.  My heart hopes that someday forgiveness will be granted to me from one whom I hurt.   I love her so much and would never purposely hurt her.  It's just that I am broken and imperfect and I make mistakes, sometimes big mistakes.

And she is also broken and imperfect and struggling right now with problems that are much deeper than I ever realized.   And I said the wrong things and reacted in the wrong ways and now I am cut off and unforgiven.   It hurts, badly!

I pray for her and I wait.  It seems there is little more I can do, though I know the praying is the biggest thing I can do.  Because the ONE who made us is the only one WHO can change us and heal our hearts.   And I have deep faith in HIM.   And so I wait and watch and pray, and sometimes cry.

I reassure myself that "this too shall pass."   And I truly trust it will.   And I rejoice that even though this one special soul in my life is struggling right now to forgive me and my failures, I know I am forgiven by my Creator and I have everlasting hope in His Son and she does also.  Thank you Father for this!  Thank you Jesus for redemption!

And so I continue to wait and watch, and pray, and sometimes cry and I hope she knows how much I love her.

 Pressing On In Him,


Monday, August 26, 2013

Postscript to "When Disappointments Just Keep Rolling In"

I was convicted during yesterday's sermon that I was indeed whiny while writing "When Disappointments Just Keep Rolling In."  Funny thing is, I have no idea which words convicted me, I just came away with the feeling that I need to add a postscript.   So here it is:

I am thankful that my life is a good life.  

  •  I am not currently fighting nor have I had to battle the big C -cancer.  I have a very close friend who is currently waging that battle.  I have the fullest respect for her and pray for her in that fight.  And I believe with all my heart that she is going to beat it!  
  • I have not been touched by an accident that has had devastating effects on me or a close family member.
  • As far as I know, I am not, nor is anyone in my immediate family, facing death (in the near future.)
  •  I am not currently facing financial ruin/devastation.

In other words, I am blessed with a good life and I know it and I am grateful for it!

BUT, (you knew there had to be one) my life is full of annoyances which I believe encroach on my happiness from day to day.  Note, I said happiness, not joy!   

It seems I find myself often to be too tired, too disgruntled, too wrung out emotionally to function.  
  • My house is terribly cluttered because I have been living for over two years in a house which due to water issues in the "finished" basement, is only half live-able!  Okay, also because we are messy!
  • Recently people, whom I love, have insulted me on various levels, whether it be the size of my body or the integrity of my soul.
  • People withdraw relationship because I don't measure up to their standard.  

All of these issues are hurtful and steal my equilibrium.  But they aren't life threatening, at least as in the sense of mortality.   My job is to not let them be life threatening in the sense of stealing my joy.  Life is full of ups and downs.  When the downs come, all I can do is hold on sometimes.  Day to day life can be full of interruptions and detours or delays.  Muddle through!  

I know the outcome of this life and I'm good with it.   Last night I said goodbye, along with her family and many mutual friends, to a fabulous Christian lady who won her battle with cancer when she went home with Jesus.  She got her diagnosis in the first two months of this year and now she is gone from us.  She was good with it also.  

My goal is to live my life like that,  I want to live with my family, friends, and church family as the center of my life and love.  I want to share The Light with the world I live in and His Love with all whom I come in contact.  And I live in hope because I know HIM!   One of my favorite bloggers said it perfectly in her post that I read earlier today:

 "Because through all the junk in our lives, the Lord has used the circumstances of where we live to teach us, to guide us, to get our attention."                                                     ~ The Nester found at

That is a promise (Romans 8: 28) from God, my Father, to help me through these day to day annoyances into a closer relationship with HIM while He transforms me into the image of His Son (II Corinthians 3:18.)  What joy!  Better than a lick and a promise!  This is TRUTH that I can count on always!   It's available to all; won't you join me on this journey in Christ?

Pressing on in Christ,


Sunday, August 25, 2013

When Disappointments Just Keep Rolling In

I am not sure when the whole "Keep Calm and ... (choose your words)" became so popular.   I just discovered it about three weeks ago.  I am not known for my powers of observation or for being a trendy person.   

In Bible study a few nights ago, a verse captured my attention however, and it hasn't let go of me.  It is God telling the prophet to instruct the king of Judah to "Keep calm."   Isaiah 7:4a says, "Say to him, 'Be careful, KEEP CALM and don't be afraid."   So I found the origin of the "Keep Calm movement."  God is the origin (of all things.)  Keep Calm.  That is His will for all of us.  But just gets so overwhelming and the bad or hurtful times just seem to pile one on top of the other and I begin to find it very difficult to keep calm.   How about you?

I feel so whiny even writing this post but I also feel tormented bottling up my feelings.   I attempt to make the choice in these situations to Keep Calm with others who are involved.   I'm working at not spewing my vengeful words onto others when I feel wronged.  I pray that God will bless me in this discipline with greater self-control and not with an ulcer.   

In this life, people disappoint us.  We must deal periodically (lately it feels like daily!) with the inconsiderate behavior of those around us, often those closest to us.  So what does one do when our  child strikes out at us with unkind words or actions?  Or how does one respond when an elderly relative feels the need to point out that one has gained weight, okay, a lot of weight, over the last ten years?   Or how does one deal with relatives who make promises and then don't keep them?  How does one Keep Calm when one's integrity is questioned unjustly?  How does one deal with others who hurt one's spouse or child?

The answer is "Keep Calm, Stay Calm, Be Calm."  As I was reminded not too long ago, God has my back; He has the answers to all the tough situations that I meet along this journey.  I simply must trust Him and KEEP CALM!   Okay, it's not always simple and it takes self-control and perseverance and lots of trust in HIM!   I covet your prayers as I seem to be in a time of trials and testing.   And I will pray for you also if you leave a comment or contact me privately through my facebook page.   

Blessings always as we Press On In Christ,